Why were you banned? Toxicity (continuous tantrums in in-game server)
Do you know who banned you? Unsure, was extremely angry at that moment to figure out, besides i left even before i got banned and never bothered to look back for about a week
Why are you appealing your ban? well this one’s a long story and i’m gonna need you to stick with me for a bit
okay so when i started playing CDU, i wanted to play betterMC. but following some of the people’s unencouraging behavior that kept on mocking my inability to play the game well and keep dying, made me quit that server and come across medievalMC
knowing me, i’m a gamer that comes from alot of other gaming communities (including toxic) ones. and i do not have the temper to deal with extreme ingame difficulties that continuously mess up your gameplay, such as constant deaths and etc etc. which is also why i kept complaining ingame all the time. i like to let out my anger somehow in the chat to feel better. however it comes at the cost of other people throwing back insults at me for not shutting up, which causes further conflict
now unto the reason why i was banned, so basically following the events of the last 14 days of me in this server, i’ve made alot of nice and amazing people to who’m i liked to hang out with and tried to “fit in” in their little friend group. much to my surprise, even after some days and voice chats i’ve kept getting outcasted by several people due to them saying how eccentric and highly energetic i am. which again caused me to feel a little unfair.
days after days i’ve tried more and more to finally fit in somewhere and people kept outcasting me including the fact that my self confidence is extremely low. sure i’ve tried my way of dealing with the feeling of being outcasted by typing random humor in the chat to cope and do some other silliness to feel better about myself, however even then the people kept telling me i was awkward
on the last day before i got banned, slug and dr ink water (the people i tried to get closer to) kept on assuming things about me (including the fact that i’ve never used a single slur before i got banned) saying that how i was racist and a person with bad vibes, they refused to even give a single hi back and continued to say ill things about me, sure i’ve done some bad jokes in the game once or twice but none of them were “bad” enough to cause a ban. i’ve got muted for a week for something i do not remember
and then after that they told someone else that “i’m not entitled to their time”. okay now at that point i’ve just about had enough of everyone’s shit and gotten incredibly pissed about it and stopped thinking. and the rest were just me causing a tantrum and throwing random insults and a slur before throwing my hat and leaving the server permanently.
but now i see my mistakes, my mistakes was that first, i tried too hard to fit in with the people without giving them a chance to get to know me more! i’ve rushed so many things and made them feel uncomfortable and then got pissy about it because they didn’t trust me that much
and some of the jokes and references i kept making were things that were making people uncomfortable (such as reoccuring jojo references or other media references) including the fact that when i tried being closer to them that also caused some uncomfortability if that’s even a word
but i see now that my behavior so far in the server was extremely childish and just over all gave off a “I WON’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER I WANT IT” vibe and made people wary of me i believe
i apologize to everyone that i made them feel that way and about my behavior. it was wrong
including the last bit where i threw a slur, sure i wasn’t thinking. but there are other ways to deal with frustration rather than throwing random insults at people to make them feel bad.
i am not a racist person nor have ever been. usage of these words is wrong and i know it, but again its a common thing ingame communities where if a user gets incredibly angry they start using random insult words to let out their anger. im not saying what i did was justified, it was very out of control
such was my behavior in this server, out of control and extremely low tempered.
if i won’t get unbanned, that’s fair. but i just want to apologize to everyone for the shitty experience i gave to others, i learned from my mistakes here and i will use it as an experience to not do this in a different community.